To Save a 14 Year Old

Late last year it came to light that my brother is a raging alcoholic. Yeah, I know, what do you mean late last year? I guess we knew off and on over the years he "drank" as they say, but it was the best kept secret from our side of the family. And frankly, his family went along with the charade, I suppose secretly hoping we'd just figure it out?

In December, when he was in jail, I suppose this is when the family purging began and I was told myriad of stories. The daughter just broke my heart, the seeming target for a heap of verbal abuse by a drunk father.

I should backtrack. It was the daughter's abhorrent grades for her first term in 9th grade that made me sit up and take notice. As a rabid proponent of education, the Ds and Es reported made my blood boil! Just what were these parents doing? Or NOT doing? In my naivete, I did not realize the effects an alcoholic has on one's family.

Coupled with extensive discussion with the enabling mother, and the history of the women on her side of the family of a long line of marriage to alcoholics, the hair on the back of my neck pricked up with worry that this would be the path my niece would soon take.

So this is when my mission for 2011 (and beyond) began. I know, the younger son will be next, but one project at a time, because the girl is in crisis.

So since January 1 we started a mission to improve her grades by having her come to my house after school most days -- conveniently located 3 blocks from the high school. Her incomplete homework was a byproduct of avoiding going home, IMHO, coupled with no supervision of same.

The end result is a modest improvement but also one tired 47 y/0. I know in the end it will be worth it, but going from childless to having a teenager is exhausting, especially when I didn't train her from the get go :-)

The mystery of my brother's alcholism --and addiction--will have to remain just that. My parents are wonderful; were social to non drinkers growing up. He's been a troubled soul from the time he was a small child. I know I cannot change people and will never change him.

But I can help to empower a young woman to make her life beautiful.

Do you know your CongressPerson?

But I bet you know who Gabby Giffords is by now. Caution, a bit of self-indulgence that might seem harsh.....or not.

Dear TV: Please stop the constant updating of the Tucson shooting. Frankly I'm tired of it, and getting a bit, yes, dare I say it, nauseated.

When I heard of the event, my stomach dropped, I was sickened, crying tears for those who'd lost loved ones. And the death of Federal District Judge John Roll hit chillingly close to home for me, a federal official court reporter.

But the continued minute-by-minute coverage is exhausting. I began flashbacking to my uncle's murder in the summer of '08. NBC interviewed poor little Christina Green's classmates and friends, but I thought of ALL of the youngsters who actually witnessed the lunatic who shot up the church my uncle was in, what trauma they witnessed and still harbor today.

The President never made his way to my uncle's memorial service -- no less a hero than anyone in Tucson by using his body to block the door to the sanctuary so the shooter could do no more harm. The President never went to Linda Kraeger's funeral, the other victim in that church shooting.

There have been so many mass shootings that are a momentary glimpse on the news. In the spring of '08, my brother's colleague's daugther died here. I know that the families of Catalina Garcia, Julianna Gehant, Ryanne Mace (my brother's friend's daughter), Gayle Dubowski and Daniel Parmenter mourn till this day.

Or what about this shooting?

While the President's words were inspiring, the whole "pep rally" like atomosphere and all the political wrangling going on is just too much for me to take. All the talking heads spending hours opining about our gun laws, what caused the shooting, and every nuance of Ms.Giffords medical progress is wearisome.

All you really need to know is there are family and friends of the victims out there that have had their hearts ripped from their chest. They will begin doubting whether they will ever feel joy ever again in their life. And from the moment they heard the news, going forward, there will be times jumping off a cliff will seem preferable to the wrenching pain of grief.

The media and lookie-loos, the hangers on, need to step away and let the real participants in this tragedy heal.

A Lost Love

No, not some slacka$s I dated years ago, but Yoga! I've been practicing yoga off and on for the last 10 years -- lately more off. I'm not sure why it took me so long to do something so satisfying. As 2010 closed out, I finally signed up for a new session of Flow Yoga which started yesterday.



Despite the intrepid travel conditions, I made my way to the class, and was rewarded with peace and relaxation. The best thing about yoga is I always feel like I look like this:
But I know I have the balance of an 87 y/0. (No offense to 87 y/0's) I can barely stand on one leg for more than 30 seconds, and my flexibilty is nonexistent. Regaining what I've lost after my hiatus from yoga is going to be a challenge.


And as all yoga-philes know, the best part of yoga is Savasana, that 5-10 minutes at the end of class, where I'm briefly transported miles from reality. I leave feeling remarkably rejuvenated and energized. How could I have waited so long to return?

Maxwell Smart

So not as in the Agent 99 and TV show fame, but the nickname for the smartest dog in the whole world, our Max.


I want to cut to the chase and just say it really is all about the dog in my life! Mom went to the hospital this week (a story for another day & she is OK). Sitting in a hospital isn't exactly a thrill, UNTIL in walks a four-legged creature, and Ken, founder of Dr. Paws. Being a therapy dog is something I have planned for Max's life-- something his father did, and his temperment seems just right for the job.


Yes, I/we have anthropomorphized him far too much, but with that sweet face, who wouldn't?

After several months last year of puppy/obedience classes, it was time for a break. Now that the new year is here, I've added to my burgeoning list, getting Max into agility training.

But let's get this clear, Max is a family dog. Have you seen Best in Show? Not really my speed.

We arrive at the facility and as we head in the door, Max finds a white French poodle enticing. He goes right for the butt sniff. I mean, wouldn't you? Its owner, however, was none too pleased and barked -- heh heh, barked -- "Please don't let your dog do that."

What??? Dogs sniff other dog butts! It's in their nature. Come to find out in this new, much more serious class, the dogs are not here for fun! We are here to teach your dog an agility course. "Keep them separated and away from the other dogs!"

Oh boy. What have I gotten myself into? I suppose not much can go wrong in the seven weeks the course lasts. (I mutter to myself optimistically)

A Fortuitous Day

It was exactly 10 years ago today I met my husband, Mike. Karma? Just luck and chance? Or some would say divine intervention?

Ironically, I'd returned from one of my many, many trips to visit Uncle Greg & Aunt Barbara in Tennessee and had used a rental car.

I remember thinking, after spending a year alone, not dating, that while being single the rest of my life would really be OK, I would like to find someone.

Approaching the airport to return the car, I vascillated between calling a friend to pick me up, or being a recluse and just calling Metro Car Service. In a split second decision, one that has forever changed my life, I called Metro Car as I exited onto I-94.

Lo and behold, the driver that day was none other than Mike.

The journey we've taken over these 10 years - well, Wow. I joke our year+ abroad gives us marriage enhancement -- I mean who spends 24/7 with their spouse, let alone for 372 days. (but that's a story for another day) So really even though we've been married 7 years, it should be more like 15.

Last night, he surprised me and just told me to be ready to go out to dinner. He'd apparently made reservations six weeks ago at Coach Insignia. Fancy! And he had a really sweet card to boot.

So just as in 2001 I truly felt a new beginning, more than other New Years, January 1, 2011 feels like another new chapter in my life.

[Editorial note: I was disappointed in the entree at CI. Service was fab, ambience was fab. The lobster corn dogs were fab. But the venison, veal chop & sauteed mushrooms were just "ehn." Don't know if it was an over burdened kitchen b/c of NYE or not but I likely won't be choosing it again for a meal.]