To Save a 14 Year Old

Late last year it came to light that my brother is a raging alcoholic. Yeah, I know, what do you mean late last year? I guess we knew off and on over the years he "drank" as they say, but it was the best kept secret from our side of the family. And frankly, his family went along with the charade, I suppose secretly hoping we'd just figure it out?

In December, when he was in jail, I suppose this is when the family purging began and I was told myriad of stories. The daughter just broke my heart, the seeming target for a heap of verbal abuse by a drunk father.

I should backtrack. It was the daughter's abhorrent grades for her first term in 9th grade that made me sit up and take notice. As a rabid proponent of education, the Ds and Es reported made my blood boil! Just what were these parents doing? Or NOT doing? In my naivete, I did not realize the effects an alcoholic has on one's family.

Coupled with extensive discussion with the enabling mother, and the history of the women on her side of the family of a long line of marriage to alcoholics, the hair on the back of my neck pricked up with worry that this would be the path my niece would soon take.

So this is when my mission for 2011 (and beyond) began. I know, the younger son will be next, but one project at a time, because the girl is in crisis.

So since January 1 we started a mission to improve her grades by having her come to my house after school most days -- conveniently located 3 blocks from the high school. Her incomplete homework was a byproduct of avoiding going home, IMHO, coupled with no supervision of same.

The end result is a modest improvement but also one tired 47 y/0. I know in the end it will be worth it, but going from childless to having a teenager is exhausting, especially when I didn't train her from the get go :-)

The mystery of my brother's alcholism --and addiction--will have to remain just that. My parents are wonderful; were social to non drinkers growing up. He's been a troubled soul from the time he was a small child. I know I cannot change people and will never change him.

But I can help to empower a young woman to make her life beautiful.